nessfraserloves:

ickynicky:

nessfraserloves:

igolle:

love this :)

You know what’s not cool — and I’ve been seeing it all over my dashboard and facebook — fathers policing their daughters sexuality. Of course any parent is protective but there should be boundaries. Here’s some helpful advice: give your children comprehensive information about sex, be available to answer questions without judgement (that’s right, none of that “if you have sex before marriage you’re going to hell!” bullshit) and then guess what — it’s none of your fucking business. I know it’s a really hard pill to swallow, but even daughters are sexual beings with sexual desires. All you can do is give them information and trust — oh god, I know it’s so hard to trust those dang womenfolk — that they’re going to make the right decision for themselves.

 …says the woman with no children.  Look, I get what you are saying and I agree with most of it, but I have three daughters and as their mom I will kill ALL the boys and/or girls that get too physical with my girls as long as they live with me and are minors.  Hell, probably until they’re older than that.  And I fully expect their father to do the same.  Am I naive enough to believe they won’t have premarital teenage sex?  Well hell no!  Of course they will, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.  But I already talk openly and casually about sex, relationships, anatomy, and the like, with my 9 yr old.  I will provide them with answers to any question now, and provide them with the means to protect their bodies and their futures when the time comes.  But that doesn’t mean that I won’t scare the shit out of the first (or 100th) kid that comes along trying to get freaky with one of my little girls. 

It’s easy to tell parents what to do with their children when you don’t have any yourself.  Everyone does it.  Then if you happen to become a parent you look back at all those judgements and rules and things you said about this and that before you had your own children, and you realize that you had no idea what you were talking about. 

Also, I don’t particularly like what the picture has to say, but only for the simple fact that all daughters are beautiful in their parents’ eyes.

I really do understand that, and no, I don’t have children (not particularly by choice, but rather by circumstance. So, yeah… that’s a bit of a sore issue.)

But the fact of the matter is that there is no age limit on “daughter.” If a kid is 13 and there’s an 18 year old around trying to have sex with them — by all means, yes, tell them to fuck off. But when your 16-year old daughter wants to fuck her 16-year old boyfriend, it’s really none of your business.

I know it’s gross to think about, and I understand that it brings up feelings I don’t understand not being a parent and all. But when you take this idea and expand it — into things like purity balls, sexual policing, slut-shaming, and the whole idea that fathers control their daughters’ sexuality (this was posted by a guy, fwiw) it turns into something that crosses bodily autonomy boundaries and sticks its nose in places where parents don’t belong.

Also, I think as a daughter Ness has experience from another end that understands how this kind of thinking affects girls/daughters and the protection that parents place over their daughter’s sexuality. 

It’s not just fathers/parents either, older brothers often act like this.  I agree with Ness that the idea that girls are precious recipients of desire that must be protected, instead of decisive, desiring beings is a very problematic and pervasive view, and one that deserves looking at.